Day 7: WTB Civil Engineering Degree
Does anyone know what criteria they rate hotels on? Because I'm assuming one of those criteria is "Inoperability of Shower". It's the only way to explain why every hotel we've been to so far requires a civil engineering degree in order to bathe.
If there was a reward for "Most Complicated Shower"...
Runner Up
Aachen Court, for "Just Plain Dumb". The shower head is a giant safe-like dial that can only be turned off by passing the Hot or Cold end of the dial (also known as Molten-Lava and Liquid-Nitrogen respectively). Quite entertaining, attempting to turn the shower off and simultaneously avoid being horrible disfigured.
Third Place
Apartments Paradiso for "Most Fun". A spa, and a shower, with only one tap? Turns out, there's a button you need to hold while turning on the tap to use the spa faucet. Given the tap is right beside the spa faucet, it comes with a delightful surprise blast of icy water to the face from the shower when least expected.
Second Place
Belle Vista for "Minimalism". The 'tap' is a public-restroom style lever. That has absolutely no temperature markings or helpful little guidelines to let you know roughly where you'll be comfortable, versus where you'll be snap frozen. It receives a second award for "Most Microscopic Adjustment Required To Suddenly Sear Off Your Flesh".
First Place
The first place award, however, goes to Jasmine Court for "No Visible Tap. You Figure it Out". Heath was the first to use it, and this is what I heard:
"Um... Um... Er... " *repeat for 5 minutes* "FUCK YA" *sound of shower*
It was only that I had advanced warning that I found the 'tap' at all - a levered dial located at the base of the shower-head itself. It would receive a special commendation, except that it had helpful temperature readings, so once found was quite easy to use without causing yourself grevious bodily harm.
I'm expecting the next place we stay will have a shower that to operate requires standing on one leg, flapping your arms like a chicken, whilst repeating the phrase "Eggs ate my armadillo purple" forward, backward, in ancient Sumerian, and whilst impersonating Whoopie Goldberg.
NOTE: I should explicitly state that I am being facetious, and that all of the places we've stayed have been fantastic, especially Jasmine Court. But seriously, does no one in New Zealand use regular taps any more?
If there was a reward for "Most Complicated Shower"...
Runner Up
Aachen Court, for "Just Plain Dumb". The shower head is a giant safe-like dial that can only be turned off by passing the Hot or Cold end of the dial (also known as Molten-Lava and Liquid-Nitrogen respectively). Quite entertaining, attempting to turn the shower off and simultaneously avoid being horrible disfigured.
Third Place
Apartments Paradiso for "Most Fun". A spa, and a shower, with only one tap? Turns out, there's a button you need to hold while turning on the tap to use the spa faucet. Given the tap is right beside the spa faucet, it comes with a delightful surprise blast of icy water to the face from the shower when least expected.
Second Place
Belle Vista for "Minimalism". The 'tap' is a public-restroom style lever. That has absolutely no temperature markings or helpful little guidelines to let you know roughly where you'll be comfortable, versus where you'll be snap frozen. It receives a second award for "Most Microscopic Adjustment Required To Suddenly Sear Off Your Flesh".
First Place
The first place award, however, goes to Jasmine Court for "No Visible Tap. You Figure it Out". Heath was the first to use it, and this is what I heard:
"Um... Um... Er... " *repeat for 5 minutes* "FUCK YA" *sound of shower*
It was only that I had advanced warning that I found the 'tap' at all - a levered dial located at the base of the shower-head itself. It would receive a special commendation, except that it had helpful temperature readings, so once found was quite easy to use without causing yourself grevious bodily harm.
I'm expecting the next place we stay will have a shower that to operate requires standing on one leg, flapping your arms like a chicken, whilst repeating the phrase "Eggs ate my armadillo purple" forward, backward, in ancient Sumerian, and whilst impersonating Whoopie Goldberg.
NOTE: I should explicitly state that I am being facetious, and that all of the places we've stayed have been fantastic, especially Jasmine Court. But seriously, does no one in New Zealand use regular taps any more?
posted by Boon at
7:45 PM
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